So...let's set the stage. Picture yourself standing on a diving board in front of a gianormous pool of water. It's not a regular pool though -- in this pool -- is boiling water. You have a choice. Either you back-off the board, or you take a risk and jump right in. I'm just going to jump in.
Aha...so, into the boiling water we'll go -- today's subject is Workplace Gossip. Gossip is a conversation between two or more people -- about someone who is not present. Simple, right? Not necessarily...
First, a short quiz. Below is a list of subjects. You can choose between (1) keeping the information to yourself or (2) you will pass it on to someone else.
You heard through the grapevine that ...
A co-worker is pregnant
A co-worker's spouse lost their job
A co-worker's daughter got married over the weekend
A co-worker was seen by someone in the company of someone they didn't recognize
A co-worker's son got divorced
That's a very tricky test. You can choose to back-off that diving board or you can jump into the boiling water. Sometimes you don't know for sure which way that's going to go.
Gossiping about others -- can be a positive thing. You can build relationships with others. You share some information with someone --- and you trust this person not to go any further with the gossip. If that person doesn't share the information with anyone else, you've built on the basic relationship and you've taken it to another level.
You can ventilate, rant, or just spit it out with other people about what's going on -- and if it's a "safe" place for you to do that -- then gossiping is a good thing to do. It can relieve stress. You may feel better just ventilating to someone. Another bonus -- the other people who are there may feel the same way as you and their stress level may be lowered as well.
Gossiping can be a check and balance on healthy workplace behavior. If someone tells you something that someone else is doing -- depending upon your point of view -- if the underlying message is "that's bad -- but this is good" -- then you might change your behavior to do "good" rather than "bad" things. Gossip can hold us accountable for our behavior.
It can be used to pass on information -- stuff you WANT other people to know. There are always "undeclared leaders" among work groups and there's always the "gossip mill" where the idle chitchat flows when communication in other ways isn't available -- or just doesn't work as well. All you have to do -- with some folks -- is plant a seed and depending upon whom you tell it to -- it can spread like wildfire -- but that doesn't mean it has to be nasty or harmful. Good information can be gleaned from that kind of gossip.
Gossiping can boost one's self-esteem. You can listen to someone telling a story about someone else -- and you realize -- the person being discussed may be worse off than you -- and you thank your lucky stars that whatever it is that's happening -- it isn't happening to you. Whew.
You may be "in the loop" -- "out of the loop" -- or somewhere in between. Gossip seems to have its own rhythm -- it's similar to the ocean tides -- ebbs and flows -- goes in and out.
If you've ever been the subject of speculative or malicious gossip and it finds its way back to you -- that can feel uncomfortable. Is there anything positive about that? Yes, indeed. It's good to know that tomorrow -- it'll be someone else's turn!
So, how's the water in your pool?